Is The Pattern Of The World’s Weather Changing?

January 19, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Humour, Science 

This was an ad for AGL gas in 1983, broadcast on Australian TV, showing their future vision of Sydney’s weather.

In it, you can see beautiful shots of Martin Place covered by snow, and people ice-skating in Circular Quay, with the Harbour Bridge visible in the background.

You see, climate change afficionados had slightly different expectations back then.

I am in full agreement with the first comment on the video:

“Is the pattern of the world’s weather changing?” Ha Ha. Al Gore must have been in town. This ad of course dates from the days when the coming ice age was the big climate scare. Back when silly religions used to sacrifice a goat in a futile effort to influence the weather, rather than trying to sacrifice entire economies.

DSD Offers Pittance for Australian Cyber Defence

August 14, 2008 by · 3 Comments
Filed under: Australian News, Humour, IT News 

If you were a top notch IT security expert living in Sydney, would you be enticed by a job offering $52,000-$72,959 in remuneration so you can be subjected to a gruelling interview process that involves digging up your past, being analysed by shrinks, and if you succeed, having to move to Canberra to get bored out of your brain?

The Australian Department of Defence thinks so!

A short while ago, I logged into my gmail account and noticed a banner ad that really caught my eye

“DSD Tech Security Jobs – www.dsd.gov.au – Malicous IFRAMEs? Heap overflows? You’ll love what we do.”

The Australian Defence Signals Directorate (the equivalent of the American National Security Agency), who are a division of the Department of Defence, is recruiting experts to work in Cyber Operations.

The following is quoted from their FAQ:

I’m not sure what level I should apply for, what should I do?

If this is the case, you should apply for all three levels.  If you are a successful applicant you will be offered an APS Position (APS 4-6) commensurate with your performance during the selection process.  If you only wish to apply for a specific level, you must clearly state this on your application form.  

The current salary ranges are:

APS 4 – $52 009 – $57 094
APS 5 – $58 009 – $62 135
APS 6 – $63 550 – $72 595

These rates will increase by 3.1% on Christmas day (2008).  Superannuation is in addition to this!

We will be holding assessment centres in Canberra during the week of 8 September. The 2 day process will involve an individual technical assessment and interview, some group based exercises, some paperwork and an interview with our friendly psychologists. Don’t stress too much.

What other benefits are there in working for DSD?

  • Generous superannuation (15.4%)
  • Free gym
  • Free parking
  • Opportunities to salary package
  • Flexible working conditions
  • Generous study provisions and developmental opportunities.

OK, I was a bit too hasty – there is free parking, as we all know about the terrible shortage they have in Canberra. The gym is also good – when you’re bored of Canberra life, you can vent your frustration by pumping iron. Oh yes, and the job is secure.

But seriously, it troubles me that the sort of people are prepared to work for peanuts are going to be on the front lines of our country’s cyber defence. I know a number of programmers in Sydney who get over $90,000 (plus super) for far more trivial activities.

Furthermore, when I think of true security experts, I think of reformed hackers, like Kevin Mitnick and Kevin Poulsen. Would they pass a security clearance?

Of course, there may be a reason for the low pay. Perhaps our country is not really under threat, and the job consists of merely watching packet dumps scrolling down a monitor or playing network computer games? I really don’t know – it’s all classified.

I Am Rich!

In these difficult economic times, people have to be creative to get ahead.

An enterprising fellow by the name of Armin Heinrich, capitalised on conspicious consumption centred around Apple’s much-hyped iPhone, released last month.

He created an iPhone application named “I Am Rich”, whose sole function is to display a computer-generated image of a glowing red ruby, as a status symbol in order to flaunt the wealth of the owner.

Apparently, 8 people purchased this application, for the listed price of $999.99, before it was removed by Apple, following a complaint from a purchaser who claimed he accidentally clicked on the buy button.

The LA Times has a fantastic article, with pictures of the Apple store advertisement and an application screenshot.

F*** the Macarena

May 2, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Humour, Music, Uncategorized 

In 1996, a horrible sonic plague was unleashed upon the world. By this, I mean the song ‘Macarena’ by Los Del Rio. The song had a few mixes and covers, but the most played release was the Bayside Boys remix.

I dislike it for the following reasons:

  1. The repetitive accompaniment consisting of maybe four notes tops
  2. It would somehow sneak into playlists at parties and get a crowd into a retarded synchronised frenzy
  3. The song’s lyrics teach women that cheating on your boyfriend is a cool and fun thing to do
  4. The outfits of the women in the video
  5. Having the two old guys (who wrote the song) in the video was clearly an afterthought
  6. The fact that after this was a hit, they came back for a second money grab with the “Christmas Joy mix” that replaced the English portion with snippets of Christmas Carols.

For those of you who dislike this song as much as me, I bring you “F*** the Macarena” by MC Rage, courtesy of Youtube. It’s hardcore techno (gabba) and apparently was a hit in the Netherlands. Good on ’em.

WARNING: Profanity – use headphones if at work

Oh, and if you really need to be reminded of the original:

 

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